Thursday 16 December 2010

So this blog post could be the best thing I’ve ever posted about or the worst. It’s not going to have any pictures, or any links, it’s just going to be for me.
I’ve had what I wanted to say going around in my head all night, but now as I come to write it I have no idea how to word it so I don’t come across as the one thing I think you think I am.
Recently I’ve felt that some of you think I'm up myself, completely rude or I just generally don’t care about anything but my blog. This all couldn't’t be further from the truth. I'm a very sarcastic person, I make no secret of that fact. (Twitter is a prime example) But please don’t think it’s me being rude, it’s just me being defensive because sometimes that’s the only way I know how to be. I'm not apologizing for this, because for a long time in my life I had to be sarcastic to get me through each day, the reasons are the one thing won’t go in to on the Internet. I put a lot of myself out there, I tell you a lot about my life but sometimes it feels like you’re just waiting for me to slip up so you can bring some hate about it. I am just a normal person, I don’t think before I speak and I make mistakes. But then again, so do you. I'm currently in my 3rd year at uni, and I have a stupid amount of work to do. Granted I don’t spend as much time as I’d like to browsing other blogs, and commenting. Mainly because now I don’t have the time, back in September/October I did. Don’t take it personally, I really wish I could be out there more in the blogging world but right now, I just can’t.
I value each and every one of my readers, and I can never express how grateful I am that you take time out of your day to read about my day and comment about it, whether it’s one like or a whole paragraph, it means a lot. But in the past few weeks I’ve felt that the number over there <--- now effects the way people speak to me. I often feel that people now think that because I hit the 1000 mark, that I am now like ‘’you can’t talk to me, I'm too good for you’’ which is totally ridiculous. I am still the same person I was when I had 0 ‘followers’’ and I still love talking to new people and finding new blogs. I do have a bunch of lovely girls I chat too, but that’s doesnt mean I won’t talk to anyone else. I will always try to answer your questions, but you have to understand that getting asked repeatedly about my size or how I do my hair is really frustrating because I’ve done a video about that and I mentioned my size numerous times. All you need to do is scroll down the page a bit and it’s all there. So please don’t take my sarcasm as being rude, but just see it from my point of 'view.
One girl in particular I’ve grown close too, and I often think that people assume that we’re too ‘involved’ with ourselves to speak to anyone else, again could’t be more wrong. She just happens to understand completely where I'm coming form, because right now she’s going through it too. I know I'm not the only blogger feeling like this, I’ve seen a couple of posts about it, but this has something that has really upset me recently and I just felt it was time to get my point across. I'm a nice girl, I'm funny, I'm lazy, I'm stupid, but mainly I'm honest, and just like everyone else I take the lack of communication to heart, because I feel like it’s all my fault, that because of my ‘follower’ count I’vie bought it on myself and deserve to feel like this. That somehow because I put so much of myself out there I deserve to get the hate I do and just accept it, because that’s just ‘what happens’ when you get noticed.
I don’t’ want sympathy, this wasn’t an attention seeking post, I just wanted to explain to you how I feel, and how I don’t like how people just judge me on some flippant comments on here or one twitter, there’s only so much you can write in 140 characters and someone once said ‘’not everyone reads between the lines’. Some assume i have ‘no idea’ about life but the fact is I do, but you’ll never know what or why, because I choose what I broadcast to you. I also have the right to voice my opinion without it starting world war 3, It’s just a blog, the follower count means nothing in the real world. So please take time to actually get to know me before you just rule me off as some rude 21 year old blogger who is made of stone, because I'm not. I'm just like you.

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69 comments

  1. I'm so very proud of you, as a blogger but mainly as a friend. xxx

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  2. I hope this has made you feel better. It's good to get things off your chest otherwise you're left feeling even worse about it all.
    I use sarcasm a lot in life also, and sure everyone has some way of building that wall to avoid hurt.

    Twitter is hard to get across the feelings or thoughts behind things you say sometimes, but sure the majority understand.

    Thanks for the tweet on the scarf btw, being a bit of a idiot and not clicking the link!! :)
    xxx

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  3. I don't think you are rude, I thin you are lovely c: <3

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  4. Great post :)
    I think some people are missing the point with blogging, it's all become a bit competitive,a bit nasty and far too critical. I'll never understand why people who claim to find so many faults with someones blog still follow, it's like they're just bitching about it for the sake of it.
    It's all very easy for people to say don't worry about it, but when it's you and your blog its a personal attack and it makes you feel vunerable.
    Your a lovely girl Vic, i love your blog, the content and your writing style, well done for saying your peice :) muchos love xxx

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  5. I hope people actually take the time to read this! I think you've got your point across really well, and I hope the haters shut up now.
    xxx

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  6. I think, rightly or wrongly, the follower thing does affect people. I don't always comment on here - partly because I often read it and there are already LOADS of comments and unless I've got something interesting to add it doesn't seem worth it, if that makes sense? This is mostly because I'm so ridiculously short of time to keep up with blogs at the moment and I'm often skim reading them and unable to think of anything other than "lovely outfit" to say! I sort of feel like it's better not to comment at all rather than leave something a bit generic...

    Having said that, I've never thought of you as unapproachable or up yourself. You seem to get an awful lot of unjustified stick on your Formspring and I don't know how you have the patience to deal with it all. It always saddens me a bit when blogland gets bitchy and negative - it's generally such a nice supportive place and I don't understand the anonymous bitchers at all.

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  7. I love reading your blog! You don't deserve the hate you get from people! Your blog is wonderful, people just take things waaay to serious sometimes. Keep up the great work! :)Stuff the haters! :)

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  8. I agree with Eff! From what I've read of you on your blog, Twitter etc, I think you're a lovely person! It's horrible how much hate you get on Formspring and stuff - you're so strong to be able to stand up to it all! I'd probably just cry and never blog again!
    Thanks for the great posts, I hope you feel better now you've got it all off your chest :)
    Rhii xx

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  9. Blog hate should just be illegal! I honestly don't see the point. I only started following you (gosh now I can't even remember but it hasn't been 'ages') but I love reading your blog, seeing your outfits and you're cute creativity. I feel that people who put bloggers down and really just jealous inside. I don't know you at all but I seriously feel you would be a lovely person in real life, and aren't we all quite sarcastic. I know I am... even to my poor mum who sometimes needs it explained. Keep blogging the way you do, you deserve the followers and just say damn the haters to you know where :) xo

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  10. i love your blog, you seem really down to earth and easy to talk to. i wouldn't think of you as stuck up or unapproachable at all even with your 1000+ followers. :-) i think people expect way too much! xx

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  11. Aw I can't believe you feel like this. That's awful. The blogging community generally pisses me off - what is it about people and their need to know silly little things like what you had for breakfast, what your bathroom looks like, what your blummin siblings are called. I sometimes just wanna tell people to get a grip and get a life. I mean, I understand it obviously, if you regularly talk to these people and they have become friends but why are others so needy? Surely anything you want to say will be said on your blog/twitter etc... why can't they try LOOKING before asking again.

    It doesn't happen with me, but I know the likes of Lily and yourself must get people whinging about why you haven't posted or whatever... it's so weird. We all have a life outside of blogging. For the majority of people their blog is not their career and even if it is it's their path, they can choose how often to post etc. Just stick two fingers up at them and secretly tell them to FAAAAFFF. The blog is for yourself, not anybody else. It shouldn't be a chore for anyone.

    It gets me riled right up, I could rant on about this forever haha.

    I've never once thought you were rude or up your own arse or anything other than nice! I hope you don't feel like I have thought like that? You are a lovely girl, and I love your blog and I can only begin to imagine how hectic uni work must be for you. I have occasionally thought that deep down you are a sensitive soul but that's no bad thing. Just with things like other people doing scrabble rings... I wasn't sure if that bothered you or not, or if you were just simply saying. Do you get what I mean? And I didn't wanna say anything to you/ask about it cos I knew you'd get bombarded with 'omgz whut u tryin to say' kinda comments from ignorant people that would just assume you were bad mouthing. I can certainly see why it would bother you but at the same time I can't fathom out why other bloggers would even WANT to do them when everyone knows that you 'get your scrabble rings at vipxo'. It's just not nice thinking that you are feeling sad about something :(.

    Anyways, I'm gonna give you a virtual hug and shut up now cos I feel like I'm just coming across as being really patronising. I don't mean to be, just can't write coherently for shit. x

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  12. I'm so happy you addressed this, Victoria. I think people take the blogging world a little bit too seriously and forget that there's actually a real person behind the posts! And things can be misconstrued so easily over the internet, it's so easy for someone to take something as small as a Tweet to another person out of context. That and there's some complete fruit loops out there on the internet!

    I know people are always quick to jump to this as a conclusion and you'll probably think it's one of those things that people just say to make you feel better but I still can't help but feel as though some of the 'hate' directed your way is purely out of jealousy. I don't understand this obsession with getting more followers that some people seem to harbour. I went into blogging blind because I'd not been around long enough to see the negatives and just how toxic the situation can get, sometimes. It's horrible that you keep getting dragged into it. I thought blogging was something that you did for yourself and followers/comments/friends out of it were just an added bonus! People need to realise that they aren't paying you to blog as they would to read a magazine and you're definitely not obliged to please anybody.

    Saying that though, it's always really nice to see the love and support you get from the people who are actually 'normal' around here! (i.e 99% of the people on blogger!) It's just such a shame that there's a 1% out there who are determined to bring you down.

    Anyway, over the months we've been friends on here and Twitter, I have never seen you as 'up yourself' I think I started following you when you had around a third of the followers you have now? and I honestly don't see a difference in you at all! Not a bad one, at least. You're a beautiful girl inside and out and I seriously wish people would give you a break. You know I'm here if you ever need to chat xo

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  13. I've just recently come across your blog and twitter and I have to say I don't find you rude at all. I actually find some of your tweets rather funny, I don't know whether this is because I have a sarcastic side to myself as well but you seem genuinely nice in your posts or tweets. You were the first follower on my blog that I only set up a few weeks ago and I appreciate that. When I read posts like this from bloggers though I start to think shouldnt I have even started blogging if this is what could come with it :( but I will keep at it because I think of a blog is like a way to get out what you want to say or show and its a great reminder of what outfits you have worn as you can always flick back to old posts lol. Anywho I hope you carry on blogging and tweeting just the way you are :) x x

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  14. I've just started reading your blog and I think you come accross really well. The fact that you are a normal person is what makes it so readable! Who wants to read a blog with no opinions?! Keep it up xx

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  15. Great post, I don't think you're rude. Obviously you have lots of things to do like everyone else besides blogging, and you shouldn't be expected to reply to the tons of comments your receive all the time. Your blog is lovely, and the fact that you're really honest makes your blog more amazing! xx

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  16. Chin up sweetie! You are not rude or into yourself at all, you definatly don't come accross like that.
    You are a lovely person and people who think otherwise or try to put you down are just jealous! xx

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  17. Why are you apologising? It's your life, just live it ;)
    x

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  18. I love you for telling the true and putting your feelings on the internet. Its not just something and a lot of bloggers dont dare to do that. You should live your life the way your want it to and the people who only comment because they want a comment back are lame anyway!

    I love your blog! keep it up! xoxo
    Andy

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  19. Really well written post Victoria (: I've been dithering about writing a similar post recently, but you've said most of what I wanted to say. I don't think you come across rude at all (probz cuz I love ya so much ya see!) and it's no secret how incredibly busy you've been. Coming across as rude or stand-offish is something that is always in the back of my mind when it comes to blogging: I'm not a rude person at all, but it's difficult to articulate that on the Innernetz sometimes! And when I'm in a bad mood, I like to take to Twitter to vent, which usually brings in a torrent of FS "comments".

    K so I've gone off on a tangent once again, and I'm probably getting close to beating my all-time longest blog comment ;) Congratulations on all of your readers sweet, you deserve every one of them. Lovesss yaa xxx

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  20. I've just started following you recently, but I clicked the follow button cos I like what I read. I do agree with Alex that sometimes I don't have time or feel like there's no point adding another slightly pointless comment when there's already 20 versions of the same thing listed. I wish Blogger had the option to add a 'like' button - like Facebook. That way I cuold let other bloggers know that I've read the post and I enjoyed it without having to come up with soemthing interesting to write in response. Does this option exist?? If anyone can tell me how to add it, I'd love to hear from you. Please leave a wee comment on my blog:
    http://baroqueboudoir.blogspot.com/

    Anyway, nuff ramblings from me. Keep going girl and be proud that you have so many followers x

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  21. It's terrible that people are so jealous of success that they have to tear apart people. Keep doing what you're doing. People are obviously loving your blog, otherwise we wouldn't be following you :)

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  22. Such an honest post :)
    Keep up the lovely blog Love!

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  23. I'm proud of you too Victoria. Reading this post I just wanted to reach out and give you a hug. You dont deserve to feel this way, no one does. Like you said, you are just a normal girl and as a blog's reader count goes up, that doesnt mean that the writer becomes any less down to earth. You are honest and genuine and thats what any sane person should look for in a blog, and in a friend. Im proud to call you my bloggy friend, and I'm angry thinking people have made you feel this way and there is this lingering pressure around the blog world these days. Just keep doing what youre doing girl, and the people who are worth talking to will be by your side the whole way. These internet trolls that roam around the outskirts will get bored and fuck off eventually (I hope) xx

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  24. Good post, I'm glad you got it all out. Just like you said followers dont count in the real world, neither does the opinion of people who know nothing about it, so just keep rising above it all :) xx

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  25. This is such a good post and I really understand where you're coming from. I hate that people judge bloggers on the number of readers they have, surely it should be about what they're reading since that's the whole point of a blog! I love your blog and I think you're a great person so just keep doing what you're doing :) xx

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  26. Such a good post. I completely don't see you like this, you have always been lovely when I've spoken to you :)

    L x

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  27. I'm a new follower and I can tell from your post that you're just being yourself and no one can blame you for that. We all have needs and I think it's good that you're speaking your mind out. Some people forget to be who they are just because they want to be "liked", but those are the people who blow up sooner or later.

    It's not our business to be judging other people. We're all blogging and tweeting because we want to voice out our opinions &interact with other people; not find enemies. No one is perfect, anyway. So we just have to accept and live our lives the best way we can. Other people no matter how much they talk won't get to you if you don't let them. I guess you really care about your followers and I think it was really thoughtful of you to go through the trouble of writing what you feel. However, not everyone hates; most of the comments have probably already got that point accross. :)

    I hope you're feeling better now.

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  28. This is a great post Victoria! And I want you to know that I've never thought you were rude or stuck up, not even for a second.

    You are a lovely, funny girl and I'm so glad to have "met" you through blogging!

    xxx
    Vikki

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  29. This is a great post well written. You come across as a funny, down to earth girl who is enjoying her busy life and making the most out of it, your twitter comments mostly always make laugh x

    Kittenish Behaviour Blog

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  30. I'm sorry you feel this way... I totally agree with you. I find that people are just out there to criticize no matter what...
    Keep your head up & keep doing what you do.

    There are people out there who want to see you smile :)

    xx.

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  31. I'm glad you wrote this post - not only for you but for those people that perhaps did percieve you in such a negative light. I think it's sad that people become so horrid over the internet. I hope this changes things for you sweet. I really do.

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  32. Meant to comment on this yesterday, but I was so swamped. Sorry! Anyways...

    Really glad you wrote this. I think a lot of people on blogger are cliquey and outsiders may just rope in anyone they see who has "made it" into the category. I understand you completely on how you get too busy to comment. I don't think a lot of people realize that just because a blog has grown doesn't necessarily make it another person's full time career. Lily has also blogged in the past about the demands people make of her and I think it's pretty unfair to both of you for people to EXPECT so much. Bloggers still have real lives and don't spend 24/7 glued to their computers. No matter how big someone's blog gets, no one deserves the hate, the pressure, or the demands. Unfortunately, those things come with blog growth. I think this post addresses those issues nicely.

    I completely agree with you on Twitter. Like facebook, it's usually jokes and status updates. Who really broadcasts serious issues on twitter? Those types of things belong the in the more private sphere. As for people saying you have 'no idea' about life... well, that's just absolutely ridiculous. Like you said, you choose what you broadcast, and I think we are all the same in that respect. I think most of the blogs in this community are positive and strive to put that positivity out there. We're not all going to sit here moaning about life. Doesn't mean we don't 'know' it.

    Sorry, this was really long and sort of went off an a tangent. Hope all is well and okay.

    xx

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  33. Really great post hun :)
    Firstly I'll say things like twitter-especially, I find really hard to 'take' people on. So I doubt anyone thinks your rude at all, but it's like text or written writing in general- you don't know how people are saying it, or putting it across- so some times that gets confused.
    I'm sure no one thinks your up your self or too good for them though, and if them people honestly do then that's their own fault. You have some lovely followers, and amazing friends in the blogging world- so keep them close.
    I also think though, that if people start following you from when you have more followers- you are a kind of 'big deal' to them. & so its like they want to be your friend- but if they haven't followed you all that long, they won't know how you are- if that makes sense. I also think it comes down to something I tweeted earlier in the week too- nothing to do with your blog, but kinda fits in here. The fact that a reader will see your (or who evers) blog and really love it, and 'get to know you' through it, and then when you're on twitter it's not the same. You don't get on as much, you chat as easily as you think you would. and that's disappointing, so maybe some of your followers feel like that too? That's nothing to do with you, or the people I was referring to on my tweet, that's just the people you are. You are a lovely girl, but I guess not everyone is meant to get on with everyone.
    Sorry about the blab
    xxx

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  34. Such a great post and i have checked out your blog a few times now, and for what its worth you always seem very lovely with a fab blog!

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  35. I know that maybe sometimes with such a large following there can be a few who don't like stuff... but they keep coming back! You have a great blog and from what I've seen of you on Twitter you do respond and care what people say. Sending love xx

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  36. Well done for writing this. I can't believe people would be so ridiculous...I think you come across as a lovely person and it's hardly your "fault" that you blog has so many followers! At the end of the day, it's only a blog - people really do seem to lose perspective sometimes. x

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  37. this is such a great honest post! I am a fan of your blog, and i felt that i knew you, but reading this post, i feel like i know you a lot more!!! I love the fact that you aren't skeleton thin and you have a sense of humour =) stay true and honest to yourself!!! xx

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  38. I understand how you feel about people judging you because you have a fair few followers. I used to run a popular website and it when it became popular it was strange for me to see people talk about it online when I only started the website because I loved doing it.

    In a sense (and I wrote this on Lily's blog as well) you shouldn't have to justify yourself and what you write on your blog. It's Your blog.

    But I think problems arise when we recognise the tension between wanting to express ourself, fully and with no boundaries, and between wanting people to fully understand us.
    We think that if we tell people more information about ourselves i.e. our motivations and experiences, they will understand us and accept us. The problem is, even if we told people our whole life story, that is no guarentee of empathy.
    (I feel like I should write an essay on this! haha.)

    Anyway, I really like your blog and I don't get the impression that you think you are 'up yourself' or above other bloggers at all. You're just a girl, like the rest of us, except you run a great blog, and it's a refreshing change from all the other blogs out there.

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