I’ve had what I wanted to say going around in my head all night, but now as I come to write it I have no idea how to word it so I don’t come across as the one thing I think you think I am.
Recently I’ve felt that some of you think I'm up myself, completely rude or I just generally don’t care about anything but my blog. This all couldn't’t be further from the truth. I'm a very sarcastic person, I make no secret of that fact. (Twitter is a prime example) But please don’t think it’s me being rude, it’s just me being defensive because sometimes that’s the only way I know how to be. I'm not apologizing for this, because for a long time in my life I had to be sarcastic to get me through each day, the reasons are the one thing won’t go in to on the Internet. I put a lot of myself out there, I tell you a lot about my life but sometimes it feels like you’re just waiting for me to slip up so you can bring some hate about it. I am just a normal person, I don’t think before I speak and I make mistakes. But then again, so do you. I'm currently in my 3rd year at uni, and I have a stupid amount of work to do. Granted I don’t spend as much time as I’d like to browsing other blogs, and commenting. Mainly because now I don’t have the time, back in September/October I did. Don’t take it personally, I really wish I could be out there more in the blogging world but right now, I just can’t.
I value each and every one of my readers, and I can never express how grateful I am that you take time out of your day to read about my day and comment about it, whether it’s one like or a whole paragraph, it means a lot. But in the past few weeks I’ve felt that the number over there <--- now effects the way people speak to me. I often feel that people now think that because I hit the 1000 mark, that I am now like ‘’you can’t talk to me, I'm too good for you’’ which is totally ridiculous. I am still the same person I was when I had 0 ‘followers’’ and I still love talking to new people and finding new blogs. I do have a bunch of lovely girls I chat too, but that’s doesnt mean I won’t talk to anyone else. I will always try to answer your questions, but you have to understand that getting asked repeatedly about my size or how I do my hair is really frustrating because I’ve done a video about that and I mentioned my size numerous times. All you need to do is scroll down the page a bit and it’s all there. So please don’t take my sarcasm as being rude, but just see it from my point of 'view.
One girl in particular I’ve grown close too, and I often think that people assume that we’re too ‘involved’ with ourselves to speak to anyone else, again could’t be more wrong. She just happens to understand completely where I'm coming form, because right now she’s going through it too. I know I'm not the only blogger feeling like this, I’ve seen a couple of posts about it, but this has something that has really upset me recently and I just felt it was time to get my point across. I'm a nice girl, I'm funny, I'm lazy, I'm stupid, but mainly I'm honest, and just like everyone else I take the lack of communication to heart, because I feel like it’s all my fault, that because of my ‘follower’ count I’vie bought it on myself and deserve to feel like this. That somehow because I put so much of myself out there I deserve to get the hate I do and just accept it, because that’s just ‘what happens’ when you get noticed.
I don’t’ want sympathy, this wasn’t an attention seeking post, I just wanted to explain to you how I feel, and how I don’t like how people just judge me on some flippant comments on here or one twitter, there’s only so much you can write in 140 characters and someone once said ‘’not everyone reads between the lines’. Some assume i have ‘no idea’ about life but the fact is I do, but you’ll never know what or why, because I choose what I broadcast to you. I also have the right to voice my opinion without it starting world war 3, It’s just a blog, the follower count means nothing in the real world. So please take time to actually get to know me before you just rule me off as some rude 21 year old blogger who is made of stone, because I'm not. I'm just like you.